This blog post I made in 2021 is after a series of racist viral and news items I have seen in the last week or two which makes me want to write a blog post about it as I feel it’s something I should talk about though it’s something I do not like to get into too much but it’s something that can’t be ignored. I would like to point out these are my opinions and are my beliefs so please respect that. We were always in what I would call a battle between the what I would call the ignorant and non ignorant people of all colors are welcome in this and I am grateful for people to be non ignorant and try to push back against the BS. Being bi racial which means I have both worlds of white and black and identify as bi racial I’ve been attacked by both sides saying I’m too black or I’m too white calling me all sorts of names like mongrel, nigger, white man, coconut all because either they don’t like black people in general or the way I carry myself which ain’t the stereotypical mixed race or black person but I don’t go on special may I just add I mean the type of person you may associate in a gang or sells drugs all stereotypical stuff I have no time for to myself or others. I did have a loud Bristolian accent mixed with London where my parents are from and that could be confused with a man from rural Gloucester when excited or drunk but I wouldn’t call it loud all the time though it does vary and is hard to explain. It goes both ways and I never understood when I was in a multicultural school and this person told me that they wished they were my color as they could like me better and never believed it was because I was half white but it was more when I grew older seeing stuff about colorism and also watching stuff on YouTube, it all hit me like oh I see and no I ain’t mad I actually see their point but I was a bit like not every person feels like that and I’m sorry you feel that way and been told by the media and whoever else that we are better, prettier, smarter etc but I don’t and I don’t care if I was the person and the way they are like if they are giving, loving always there for someone, don’t care what they say or what color you are, that sort of thing and that has always been with me. When I get funny is when religion gets in the way and though I don’t mind religion it’s some hardcore fundamentalists I don’t like it’s too pushy and is outdated and nothing I feel we should be living under as god children (enter god here) as I feel he and they would not allow that to happen and they would be casted out to hell or wherever (again insert your own hell here) if they committed a act in the name of god but anyway I’m drifting away from the subject now but that’s my stance on religion. The next bit is for you colorist like this person in the clip which all comes from the well known platform TikTok a well known place for colorist jokes and unfunny skits. You people on TikTok and like this girl in the video said please stop with this reinforcement you may think you are more attractive than black girls or boys and you are all that or you may have a preference it doesn’t mean to say they are ugly and not as or more attractive than black girls or boys. I myself look at personality I’m really not bothered about how good you look, skin tone or whatever. Though I haven’t dated many black girls I never thought they were ugly because she was too dark true fact lol I once was dating a black girl in my school days and she was can I say dark skinned and I said if we had babies they would hopefully come out darker then me because I loved the thought of having black babies they were pretty to me and not in a object way so this misleading narrative that they have about themselves that they think they are more prettier etc doesn’t represent the whole wide world and though they feel like that doesn’t mean to say that we all think that and are like that because that doesn’t represent the race as a whole and we are in this together and still face racism so I really don’t know where this girl is coming from how does the black family members feel cos I know there must be some sort of diversion within the families. As I said before TikTok is starting to get a reputation for it’s racism and though famous YouTubers like Pew Pie, Shane Dawson and Jeffery Star not to mention the rest but those are the ones I’ve followed and looked into and can remember you would of thought after that people would be like that’s not “cool” better not do that. No because people allow it and the ones who still hang around the followers they still buy whatever they sell and they laugh to the bank so it goes round in a circle they just swap platforms and probably rebrand their name in worse case scenario. I really do hope their apologizes are real and not just a way to win viewers back and not to look like a racist twat but I do believe in change but obviously you would want to change first but that’s pointing out the obvious. I’m not familiar with TikTok as I haven’t actually got a account but I hope they ban these people but it feels they are allowing it to happen but I don’t know the full story but I’m sure they must have released some sort of statement at least they should. I don’t even know how many complaints they get some skits are quite violent like there is one where he’s like “white woman” the word not a actual female but it says white woman and he’s like all posing and stunting then the word “black girl” and he does the hardest bitch slap and then walks off, I thought it was disturbing to be honest and something I didn’t find funny. It is true and no denying that media has a big role in the subject of colorism and have reinforced the idea that light skin people are more attractive than black people with all the music videos, people who lightened their skin tone in Hollywood, and the music and film industry it has had a negative effect on black and even white people which we all know steams back from slavery. That’s the other thing there is self hate from all sides but at the end of the day you can’t be a sheep and laugh when the other sheep gets eaten by the wolf cos you could be next so you should join forces to stop each other from getting eaten so there is no need to say you are better you are still half sheep or full sheep so you are still vulnerable to attacks, sorry to use sheep as the metaphor but that’s the best way to put in in a metaphor way. What I’m trying to say is you may call them ugly but someone is going to think the same about you, people who are not your colour and I won’t go on about slavery but they should know or know by now where it comes from and do better by not making these reinforcement videos cos all they are, are trends and I didn’t know it was a trend and “cool” to be a racist yeah let’s be racist like Trump or my leader I want to be just like them. I actually saw this really good video of a trend on TikTok but I seen it on Facebook it was young teens confronting their racist parents and it was sad but good to watch at the same time. It made me angry the things they were saying and their beliefs which were being blown apart. People get crazy when it comes to racism and do all sorts to justify and deny it but to be honest I like the open racist not like that but I mean at least it’s honest and you know not to talk to that person again if they are in your life, I’m talking about people more in your life it’s not to say I would talk to them and the random racist on the street can shut the fuck up crazy old bat no time or patience.
Obviously with a racism blog I can’t do it without mentioning George Floyd and the countless others who have died from police brutality. As I speak the jury is out from the court case and I’m scanning the news every hour or two to check the latest but I’m unsure when that’s going to be. It’s been a bit side eying some of the things said in the court but that is court for you and you need to tell two sides but wow sounds that defence team for the cop should be on some sort of FBI payroll *cough cough. I really would like to know what’s going to happen cos I think hell is about to break loose if he gets let off, it already has but how more worse do they want it is the question cos people ain’t taking it this time surely they would do the right thing and more importantly make changes and also I don’t even think it would of went to court if Trump was still president he would of waived it out the court I believe. I watched a unseen clip on Facebook of the murder of George Floyd seen below this text and it made me angry. I will warn you it does show the murder of George Floyd and is not to glorify the situation but to show people who may not have watched it already how he was murdered by the police and is something the news won’t show. You can see the police officer kneeling on George for 10 minutes despite people in the background telling them to check his pulse and he is not breathing and not to mention telling the officer he can’t breathe. Please do not watch it if you don’t like to see cold blooded murder happen and you don’t like to see dead bodies as it shows all of that so please think carefully before you watch the video, thank you. I did hate the aftermath of the murder as their was a brutal backlash from anti George Floyd supporters who thought it was important and necessary to drag him through the mud and air out what they claim was his private life all for the public especially the American public to hear and savagely attack the man after he was filmed being killed by a police officer. I mean the poor family had to put up with abuse and wickedness as in evil jokes about their family member and put through more pain plus now fighting a landslide battle against them with the police and government something not everyone is cut out to do as judging by other victim’s family members it’s exhausting and painful as what they probably want to do is shut the case and pretend like it never happend which is why after the backlash from the world they did their best to trash his name and make him into a villain and that is classic old CIA and police tactics if you read up about their tricks of the trade and you believe the old CIA were evil. It really is a joke I mean it’s like they would have slowed down by now and not kill as many or anymore people cos this is getting out of hand. Let’s be honest though it was always out of hand but we are just hearing about it cos of this one big case with George Floyd now they are telling us the latest victims by the police. It does make me me wonder how many people they have killed throughout the decades and I dread to think it was under the radar for decades and also covered over by the police as I heard police reports of accidental death by the police are only submitted by them voluntary so that’s a good system to have, honestly it’s not and is ridiculous what crap is that only submit if you want to it’s like saying don’t worry if you murder anyone we won’t charge you for it anyway. It’s funny there are all these laws to protect them but they don’t have much to protect them with in law wise and everything will usually go in their favor cos the courts won’t go against the police which is not a fair justice court to rule under. We do need better rules to ensure police will be prosecuted if they mistreat, harm or kill any of their detainees cos they can’t keep running people down they are meant to do a job and protect us all against crimes not committing crimes like racism and murder. I would like to think this is just some sort of accident but knowing the history and the killings in America I know it’s more sinister and something just ain’t right I didn’t know the killer cop in question obviously but it does make me wonder what his beliefs were like was he a racist cos all fingers point to yes. I tell you why I am mad and not just cos it’s the racist thing I’ve had a similar experience when I was arrested. I made a run for it when I saw the police and they chased me but I gave up and stopped he pounced on me and basically did the same thing to me he put his knees on my neck and kept me there despite me telling him I couldn’t breathe and gasping for air I remember moving my neck to the side and I manged to get a good amount of air in my lungs and he kind of eased off it but he could of killed me and even worse I was in a field like a country field not even in my town so he could of easily got away with it, my mate was saying your going to kill him but he wouldn’t listen. It was like he didn’t give a shit he was going to kill me and had the same facial expressions like on the killer cop in the video. They have done it a few times and done by security most of the time I wasn’t in the wrong the police incidents maybe but the security guards was because I’m a mental case and they always follow me pissing me off when I shop there regularly. I haven’t been following all the killings going on recently but my friend tells me as he watches TV and the news so he tells me of the latest and it seems to be every other day but yes justice for them all.
There was a lot of things I wished I said and could of said when I appeared on the BBC news about institutional racism and the Stephen Lawrence anniversary where a black man called Stephen Lawrence was murdered by racist thugs in London in 1992 a case that shook must of us. It’s more my dad’s thing appearing on TV and he does great things for the ethnic communities and helps a lot of disadvantaged people into greater things with his work which I’m still not sure what he does but it’s community and his business based. This is where I get my everyone is the same approach and he taught me not to judge others by their skin and beliefs and was drilled into me at a young age which I am thankful for but probably saw it as a boring lecture not understanding what he’s fully saying but I got bits but all them talks about this is such and such they did this and helped us here and you may be lighter than some of us but you are the same and will be treated the same by most or some people. Honestly I didn’t get it for a long time until the monkey chants came at school then I saw it oh and that was a depressing moment I must admit. Going back to Stephen Lawrence he was 18 when he was attacked and killed by racist thugs who later went to jail but a lot of changes happened in England and laws were enforced for people who commit crimes towards a person due to race but recent reports show things haven’t changed much despite the laws and institutional racism is on the up rise again due to knife crime and gang culture in London but does affect other cities too. Don’t forget another thing happening every year on the 22nd April it’s Stephen Lawrence Day the day he was murdered and is a new day to remember in Britain but if you want to celebrate a black man who was murdered by racist thugs and changed laws like I see the George Floyd drama please feel free to do so, it shook Britain like it did with America and is something we will always remember. It is a day dedicated to Stephen’s memory that also allows people to reflect upon the part we all play in creating a society in which everyone can flourish and this year’s theme is friendship, respect and difference just in case you feel like doing something. I’ve already talked about my experience going on the BBC News at 6.00 PM and at 10.00 PM on BBC 1 the main BBC channel so instead I’ll give you my own knock on effects I had after the Stephen Lawrence murder. Thinking about it I remember the day being a dark and cloudy day and on that April’s day and when I heard about it after seeing it first in the headlines of the newspapers and later on on the news channel but I remember a cloud like object over the UK and myself including being on edge and paranoid thinking this could be a start of a race war or more vicious killings of innocent black people and not just blacks but I feared more racial related crimes could be on the surge and I knew this as my dad worked for the council and did a lot of charity work with racism charity Sari pronounced sorry which is or was based here in Bristol in the UK so I heard about all the reports and statics coming in dealing with racism and was worried for any ethnic background including black people like my dad and his side of the family. I’ve been hearing about a race war for decades now and this always worried me as I stand with my dad and his side of the family (the black side) and I was worried about losing good friends and family members from my mum’s side (the white side) and all the blood that could be spilt it was a worrying time and plus dealing with some people who was living for this race war to happen they were rubbing their hands and adding fuel to the fire and a whole lot of dead weight let’s call it.
Okay last topic as it’s been quite a long discussion but this bit is about racism in the Church Of England and after a exposé by BBC Panorama about churches in England having problems with institutionalized racism and how people are treated differently and silenced into not saying anything by signing non disclosures. I haven’t watched the documentary but I’ve read a article by the BBC who reported a trainee vicar who was born in Brazil and he was told he was not coherent enough and that he was too passionate. Another case a black man was sent a banana with his face superimposed on it and when he complained to human resources they saw it not to be racist but the man was paid some compensation by the church and had to sign a non disclosure I was shocked by this when I heard of it today and had a lengthy conversation. I was saying I think the problem is I think racist people get jobs in high up places like the police force or in the church, even your council or housing office and they don’t separate themselves from their job from their real life and bring it into the workplace where it can catch if it’s in the wrong place and it’s not diverse. But the church of all places, a place where you are meant to be welcome and not discriminated against cos I’m not being funny I don’t think God or Jesus would want people to discriminate especially to people who he would call his own people. It really is disheartening and I can’t believe that institutional racism is within the churches and is something that shouldn’t be anywhere near there and is a place to worship not to make racist jokes they are not at the office but I’m not saying they can’t make jokes but racist jokes NO! It seems it’s another big joke and Former Church race-relations adviser Dr Elizabeth Henry stepped down from the position last year as she felt like she was getting nowhere with the issues in her job and had to sign a non disclosure stopping her from talking. Good on her for coming out cos I think racism is something to be exposed and can’t just hide it under the rug like a dead body under the carpet all lumpy and obvious causing a stench in your home or work environment. I don’t know where the church think they are in Hollywood or something but non disclosures are shady and is something that would happen in shady places I wouldn’t expect that in the church and am shocked they do it. I would have probably laughed if someone told me the church made them sign a non disclosure it’s makes we wonder what do they see, we all know about the R. Kelly shit ugh. So the church really don’t want us to know how racist they are but surely it would come out eventually IDK what is going on well I have a guess and like I said before it’s racists bringing their beliefs into work cos they just don’t spring from the air what I meant it just doesn’t grow on you over night it’s something taught and is in you or could be in you something is just waiting to trigger it off so it’s something wired into all of us what ever way or belief or race that is or we could say something that might not sound offensive to you but to the person in question they might and most of the time it is offensive as it’s old stereotypes that was played out on the TV and theatre and old stereotypical jokes that were done decades and centuries before or even the image of the black person being slow and unable to read well apperared. This has reinforced people’s image of the black person as a negative thing and most of the stereotypical jokes and assumptions come from the media and of course slavery but the media has done a great job in reinforcing the negative image of black people and still happens today with colorism both the idea that light skin people are more attractive and also all the stereotypes of black people like being ghetto, loud or being in gangs, it’s weird to think people watch stuff and think that all people are like this cos this is what they see on TV not sure if it’s like that now but it was like that at least for me. What made me furious is when I heard the black ex Bishop Of Canterbury was silenced by the church after he was about to give a open discussion because that is all it was but he was going to give his interest take of the race of God and Jesus not so much Jesus but God he was quickly shut down by head office who told him in words but something like this that it was in his best interest not to speak on the topic. I was so angry when he told the reporter this and yet again signed a disclaimer so he wouldn’t speak about it but he went against the churches grain and spoke out about it. Now I was always a believer that the church was a open place for all races and beliefs on what God and Jesus actually looked like it’s the same script IE same passages and prays and that all views are welcome just as long as you pray to the same God it doesn’t matter what your beliefs are but how wrong I was. I’m also angry for my grandma who I think has dealt with the churches backward ways and I might of witness it myself as when I was in London visiting my gran this one time and there was this church event she wanted to go to which was only down the road and some sort of cake fair anyway I only caught the reverend of the church throw my gran some dirty looks like she was a rat and shit under his shoe. I brushed it off thinking he’s the reverend he’s not giving my gran the daggers but I now think he was and it has dawned on me in that later years she might not be as welcomed in his church as he said she was. Now I could be wrong and I would like to think I’m wrong but the evil look in his eye really shook me up like it was a piercing cold stare that only a racist would do but as I said I hope to god I’m wrong cos I’m not going to be happy if I do found out the man is a turd so to speak. Just for reference my gran was around 70 at the time she 86 now bless her and she is a black god fearing woman like most black seniors she does her part for the church as she was a caretaker and she’s in and out the church more times than a reverend’s first day in hell casting demons out. She doesn’t care where she worships and if she’s at home in London or here in Bristol or oversees she would always stop by at the church when she can but especially Sundays she feels at home when in church which makes me sad and angry that she too and still has to put up with such crap and coming from the church the one place where it’s everyone shelter or anyone Christian, Catholic or Protestant home or place to call home where you don’t get judged and persecuted I mean didn’t Jesus get persecuted too but still they persecute others and that’s just wrong and makes me feel sad to anyone of color who thought they found their place only to be casted out like what they did to Jesus and still they haven’t learned their lesson.
Well that is it I finished my two cents worth on racism bit longer than expected but there was a lot of things I’ve been watching and have watched over the years so there was a lot to talk about. Before I end this blog post I’ll leave you with a poem I did for anti racism day on World Poetry Day both on the 21st March I would like to say this. It doesn’t matter what skin color you are someone will find you beautiful and though people may hate they don’t understand or care to understand their actions and can’t be excused in any way. It’s such a shame what slavery did and really did something against humanity if they knew what would of happened would they still of done it, probably if they are anything like the Klu Klax Klan and they are a linked to slavery. I don’t think nothing can undo the cost of slavery and the ongoing racism that is happening nowadays I hope it does change but that involves a lot of work and undoing all the “good” they done in all those years and when I say good I obviously mean bad but they say it’s good. We can all do our bit to help tackle racism and make it more harder to have around by having tougher laws and regulations like on TikTok and other well known platforms where the infestation problem happens if there isn’t already but they still should make it tough on these matters. They are a serious problem and racism and discrimination is a worldwide problem and discrimination is also very deadly so is racism but I feel it has lead to all sorts from murder to slavery your whole fucked up beliefs can do harm to others all because you don’t like the person’s race and have some sort of fucked up belief system. The stuff you could and do allow to happen is discrimination at it’s best and I meant worse. There’s nothing wrong with being proud with who you are just don’t be too proud by hating other colours cos you think you are superior to them cos someone told you that or you keep being told that. There is a thing of being too much but that’s my opinion when I say being too much I mean saying fuck (enter race here) they are all the same etc etc. But as I said before I get it why you get mad when you see certain stuff and I understand and I believe in telling black girls and boys too that they are pretty and build them up because they are going to be told otherwise. Hate and love comes from within and should start at a early age just speaking from my background I had it early and got taught racism by both conversations and real life events and it really did help me build myself up to know who I was and how people would treat me and how I should treat others. I am proud of both my white and black heritage and even though it’s been a confusing and now more days annoying journey I am not sorry for who am and what I believe and despite the at times negativity I will still solider on and continue to be me, anyway here’s the poem.
Dear ALL Racists